Preparing for a Peaceful Advent

 

Have you ever thought about how your children will look back on their childhood Christmases when they're grown?

 Above all, I've decided, I want them to remember peace. I want them to remember cozy cuddles on the couch, sharing favorite stories under the twinkling Christmas lights.

When the rest of the world goes wild with trips to the mall, and crowded parking lots, and standing in line for more, more, more, I want them to remember calm, and quiet, and contentment.

As I've thought about intentionally cultivating quiet for my family this Advent, I started by making a list of all the things I won't be doing. All the things I will be saying 'No' to, so that I can say 'Yes' to the things that matter most to me.

This year I'm saying no to Christmas cards. There was one year I executed the perfect family Christmas card complete with professional photographs. It was lovely. Sending out the cards and getting them  from family and friends in return brought me great joy. Looking at the pictures brings me great joy to this day. See what I mean?

• 

But when I think about the time and energy it took to get everyone coordinating outfits and get everyone all gussied up and when I think about the emotional energy it drained from my husband who hates being photographed, I knew that this was not the year for photo Christmas cards.

This year I'm saying no to performances and concerts. I would love to take my children to the Nutcracker, but at age 5 and 7 they will probably get more out of it in later years. I would love to go to a concert of the Messiah, but the nearby performances would be stressful to swing schedule-wise. I would love to see my kids participate in our church's Christmas pageant, but neither of them wants to. And really, if they don't, that's two extra Saturday mornings I don't have to spend shuttling them to rehearsals. So we are saying no to special performances. We're not saying no forever, but we're saying no for now.

We're saying no to shopping, and the mall, and trying to get the best deals. I know some people love this, but for me it's really stressful. My husband and I aren't getting gifts for each other this year. Instead, we're giving each other debt freedom for Christmas, meaning we are not spending money on presents so that we can put more money towards our goal of paying off our student loans and becoming totally debt free by the end of 2018. We will get some presents for the kids to open, but I'm determined to keep it simple and not go racing all over the place shopping for presents.

I'm also saying no to complicated children's devotionals that involve daily schedules for cutting, pasting, baking, making Christmas tree ornaments and the like. I'm looking at you, Jesse Tree! Sorry, not sorry, Slow + Sacred Advent. I would love to be the type of person who can pull this off, but I've gotten devotionals like this the past two years and completely failed to make it happen. I think it's time to accept that I am not that mom :)

With the space and time created by saying no to those things, there are a few traditions I'm excited to say yes to this Advent.

Reading the Christmas story from Luke (almost) every day.

I stole this idea from Mystie at Simply Convivial. She has her family recite Luke 2 twice a day throughout Advent. Twice a day doesn't work for our family, but we are pausing on our Bible reading schedule for morning time and reading the Christmas story each day instead. We started this week even though it's not really Advent yet. And we haven't quite settled on the exact verses we'll read. Yesterday we did Luke 2:1 - 40. Today we read Luke 1:5 - 2:40. Clearly we're not purists here. I'm sure we'll get into a good groove, but either way we will get lots of good Scripture into our hearts and minds this Advent.

Listening to Handel's Messiah.

Last year I bought this CD during Advent, and it was the best $9 I spent all Christmas. This music gives me chills, no matter how many times I hear it. So simple, but it goes a long way toward getting my heart in the right place for the season.

Read Charles Dicken's Christmas Carol.

I know he's made a lot of enemies in high school English classes, but I love Dickens. His novel, A Tale of Two Cities, is one of my favorite books of all time.  Not surprisingly I adore the Christmas Carol. My deep and abiding love for this book is surely what motivated me to start an Advent read aloud tradition when Moses was 2. I can't say he got a lot out of it. But with each year that passes the kids enjoy it more and more. I can't imagine giving up this tradition now.

Do a picture book Advent calendar.

There are so many lovely Christmas picture books. One of my favorite traditions is to wrap Christmas books, mostly from the library, and open a different one for each day of Advent. I may not be able to pull off a Jesse Tree ornament devotional, but I can wrap 25 books. Add some hot chocolate. Bonus points if there's marshmallows, and we've got everything we need for a special peaceful family moment each day.

Read the Advent Book by Jack and Cathy Stockman.

I've been singing the praises of this children's Advent devotional for years. I don't think I've persuaded anyone yet because to be honest it's an investment. The book is not cheap, but it is beautifully made and very durable. Each day has a flap to lift with a verse from the Christmas story and a gorgeous illustration underneath. On December 1st you lift the flap and uncover page 1. Then you're done for the day. This is the hardest part for my kids. They want to read the whole book every time. On December 2nd, you get to lift two flaps and read two pages. And so on through the days of Advent until Christmas Day when you get to enjoy the whole book. I love how it perfectly plays into the anticipation of Christmas, and it makes me so happy to know that this book is something our family can enjoy for generations to come.

Watch It's A Wonderful Life.

This is my absolute favorite Christmas movie, and Moses and Abigail have already come to expect it. I was a little concerned when we first showed it to them at 3 and 5 that the film's darker moments might be upsetting to them, but they totally grabbed onto the warmer parts and everything else went right over their heads. Enjoying this movie as a family is something we all look forward to.

I'm also trying to think through some ways we can incorporate intentional giving and remembering of the needy into our children's experience of Christmas. Right now the idea I like best comes from Shannan Martin:

Last year after we opened our gifts, we drove around town with random rolls of quarters and some anonymous cards filled with cash and "God loves you so much!" messages. We asked God to direct us to the right people, then we walked up to them, said Merry Christmas, handed them the gift, and walked away. THIS WAS THE BEST THING EVER. So much serious fun. If you want to see Christmas through sun-scorched eyes, drive to Goodwill and notice the people doing their best 11th-hour effort to shop for their loved ones. (As a self-professed Goodwill fanatic, I'm not implying everyone shopping there is poor or needy. But the reality is, some of them are. Hand them a card with $50 or $100 and walk away. I promise, it will make a difference in their world.)

I would love to hear from you. What Christmas traditions are essential for your family? What are you saying no to this Advent so you can say yes to the things that matter? And what does giving look like for your family at Christmas?