We are now at 34 weeks (I can't believe it!) and I have hardly mentioned the newest Otto on this blog, so I feel it's time for a few rounds of 'You May Be Pregnant If...' Since a significant portion of the readers of this blog - all three of you ;) - are either currently or recently pregnant, you may be able to appreciate some of these. I wish I could say these stories are exaggerated. Sadly they are all true. I'm sure none of you ever did anything this ridiculous!
So without further ado, you may be pregnant if...
Here are some of our more frequently asked baby questions:
Does this child have a name?
Yes! I gave Nick a list of twenty five names that I would be happy with, and it took him 20 minutes to narrow it down to the final one. I'm pretty sure that is some kind of baby naming record. Go Team Otto!
Are you going to tell us what the name is?
No ;) But I will say that for those of you who found the name Moses hard to swallow (I know you're all in denial now - how could you resist his cuteness?) this one should go down a bit easier!
Does Moses know he is about to get a little sister?
I'm sure the little man is clueless. Is he aware on some level that Mommy has a baby in her tummy? Yes. However, he also thinks that he and Daddy have babies in their tummies, so I guess we can't really rely on that too much :) At any rate I am confident that Moses will make a fabulous big brother, and I am sure he will get the idea soon enough!
And for those of you dying to see a pregnant Aimee picture (there aren't many of them I assure you!) here is one with my dear friend Abby who is welcoming a little one in early April. I think I was around 28 weeks when this picture was taken...
So without further ado, you may be pregnant if...
- On the way to the grocery store you stop at the McDonald's drive thru and order an extra value meal to wolf down on the way (because you're not supposed to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach, right?). An hour later you are driving home from the store with a week's worth of food in the car when you pass a Taco Bell where you top and get another full meal to eat on the way back.
- You are watching your toddler and your five-year-old neighbor (in other words you are lying on the floor in the middle of the house with both eyes closed and one ear primed for the bloodcurdling screams that mean your toddler is being trampled or the deafening silence that means both children have climbed up onto the kitchen counters and are rifling through the cupboards). The five-year-old comes up, pokes you gently on the arm, and asks, "Aimee? What is a pump?" Bleary-eyed you mumble, "Ummm...it's a thing...that...ummm...does stuff". You thank God when there are no follow up questions! Meanwhile your husband exclaims from the adjoining room, "Wow! I've never heard you explain anything that badly before!!"
- You find yourself using an eight-quart crock pot as your personal candy dish.
- Your husband asks very cautiously if there might be any baskets of clean laundry anywhere in the house that he may be unaware of. You immediately burst into hysterical laughter. Then it occurs to you that this is a serious question, not a joke, and that you, as the full time homemaker, probably should not be laughing quite so hard.
Here are some of our more frequently asked baby questions:
Does this child have a name?
Yes! I gave Nick a list of twenty five names that I would be happy with, and it took him 20 minutes to narrow it down to the final one. I'm pretty sure that is some kind of baby naming record. Go Team Otto!
Are you going to tell us what the name is?
No ;) But I will say that for those of you who found the name Moses hard to swallow (I know you're all in denial now - how could you resist his cuteness?) this one should go down a bit easier!
Does Moses know he is about to get a little sister?
I'm sure the little man is clueless. Is he aware on some level that Mommy has a baby in her tummy? Yes. However, he also thinks that he and Daddy have babies in their tummies, so I guess we can't really rely on that too much :) At any rate I am confident that Moses will make a fabulous big brother, and I am sure he will get the idea soon enough!
And for those of you dying to see a pregnant Aimee picture (there aren't many of them I assure you!) here is one with my dear friend Abby who is welcoming a little one in early April. I think I was around 28 weeks when this picture was taken...
You look beautiful! This post made me laugh out loud. Don't worry sweetie - we've all been there. Except, if it were me, it probably would have been McDonald's twice :)
ReplyDeletecracked me up and oh-so-relatable! -abs
ReplyDeleteI don't mean to quibble, but I don't recall numbers 2 and 4 happening at all. It sounds like you married a real jerk-wad! And, even in your pregnant state, you are very responsible and watch the children with much diligence. The house is in great order, especially considering that we live with the human manifestation of entropy constantly undoing all the work we do, echoing the constant refrain of "uh oh" and "oots!". By the way, where did you put the eight-quart crock pot? I need it;)
ReplyDelete